Redemption ...

[a pastiche in prose]

It began with a realization

that a life bent to others’ expectations

- no matter its excellence -

lacked the spice of self-satisfaction.

And so starts the journey

of self-deception

for the search of the ‘ideal’

soon proved a foolish reveal.

Here the experience

of recrimination and accusation

cut so deeply into myself

even as I bend to thrust at others.

“Oh, you foolish, foolish man...

Why do you search for such a pure life

when all around you so cleverly decree

‘Do unto others before they do unto you’.”

“What now, foul mouth” I heard myself reply

“Would I acquiesce to such petty thoughts

Why, I would be no better than you ...

and that “ I shudder “is too common a thing...”

...

But then Who and What am I

that dares such lofty feelings

To spurn the base and selfish acts

too common in Everyman.

Would I ... could I ...

ever find the answers

to such a simple complicated life

...or is it better to just ... retreat ?

…

And so time and time passed

Now I no longer a driven youth

my life still not placid

but filled with observations and bitter resignations.

Here then is life

where men gain by use and abuse

Prized for slaughtering competition

Praised with envy and sour jealousy.

Is this all that life has to offer

This sham we call ‘success’

Am I the fool to search in vain

for a lost dream born of crying rain.

…

And then it happened

as if a switch had turned

Life acquired a different tint

for in she walked, and color grew.

Now with new eyes I see

this hidden side of life

Is this where I belong

or it still be closed to me …

Oh, that such a simple act

could bring so powerful a meaning

So deep a revelation

to give us all its Truth

You see - it is not the Path

- nor the life you seek

- but the people in it

- that bring true value to all you speak

...

And this, my love, is all you’ll ever need ...